She Knows How to Use Them

Post-Game Wrap-Up

 

In a great game against Bunt Funk, we lost a tight one 3-2.  The Funkatiers stand along at the top of the division undefeated, and we hung right there with ‘em.  There were some close calls.  If one or two of them went our way, then we may have been able to eek that one out.  The cheers with jell-o shots between innings was a nice touch that I think we should continue… any volunteer chefs? 

 

Post-Mania Wrap-Up

 

Metal Mania was once again a throw down that even the Gods of Heavy Metal would be proud of.  Steve’s “boombox” provided the wattage that was required for Quiet Riot and my Monsters of Rock CD and the entire jug of jungle juice that we waxed got the night started off right.

The game got off to a late start because Ranger Dick decided to enforce the boundaries of the Vietnam Memorial, which apparently cuts about half way into our regular fields.  Because we had to get to Heaven & Hell by 11pm, we skipped the X and went for jumbo slice and dancing at H&H.  We sequestered a corner for ourselves and took full advantage of the $10 2 shots/2 beers deal.  I cabbed home at 2am and woke up with a platform shoe here, a bandana there, and in fog from the night before.  Ah, Metal Mania, how do I love thee…

 

The game ball goes to our pitcher, PJ, simply because he looks hot in jorts. 

 

Action Item 1:  Attendance

 

Please respond whether or not you will be at tonight’s 6:30 game vs the Recess Rejects.

 

Scouting Report

 

This is not the Recess Warriors of year’s past—they folded.  (I think Jed’s fiancé, Margaux, couldn’t take us any more.  Ah, kickball love.)   The Rejects are a new team, and I know nothing about them or anyone on their team.  So we’ll test them tonight to see if they can hang with Footloose.

Because of Ranger Dick, we’ll likely have to set up fields closer to the pond.  So let’s gather down there if the fields aren’t already set up.  Jed, I believe, will try to get there early and take care of squatting fields. 

 

Captains Tip of the Day

 

·         Just relax when kicking.  If you pop out, don’t worry, we’ll still be your friend.  But you’re cut from the team. 

·         Remember to get the ball back to the pitcher ASAP, even if there is a close call and you’re waiting to hear the result.  If there is a runner on base, and if they are smart, they will continue to run. 

·         The base coaches have been doing a great job of telling the runners when to run or stay, the # of outs, and generally helping them.  Please continue to do so. 

·         If you call “I got it,” then you damn well better catch the ball.  If another player says they gots it, then you should back off. 

Action Item 2:  Theme of the Week

 

80s TV characters. 

 

Acton Item 3:  Libations

 

Who’s bringing the liquid fun and cups? 

 

Bag O’ Schwag

 

Remember to help yourselves to any of the goodies that I bring.  Also, give be $5 beetches!  I’ve spent over $100 so far on schwag. 

 

Scavenger Hunt

 

I just got word that there are still openings for the Hunt.  So if you were on the fence or worried that you couldn’t make the deadline, we can still get you in.   They do NOT need to play kickball.   Spread the word! 

 

http://dcsmashed.org/scavenger/Welcome.html

 

Friday Night Grill & Chill

 

Cuz Saturday is the DC scavenger hunt, I need to have a relatively chill Friday night (if you’re doing the hunt, you will too…).  So if you want to come over Friday night anytime after 7pm to grill, throw some horseshoes, play a little volleyball, and sit by the campfire once the sun goes down, you’re invited to join me and roommate Kevin (Aaron is outta town).  I suppose that I can break out the beer pong table too.  Just bring a chair if you got one, some beer/wine, and anything you want to grill. 

 

If you can make it, cool; if not, I’m sure we’ll do it again.

 

230 N. Highland St, Arlington, VA 22201

703.967.9145

 

We’re about a 15 min walk from the Clarendon Metro.

 

She’s got legs, she knows how to use them.
She never begs, she knows how to choose them.
She’s holdin’ leg wonderin’ how to feel them.
Would you get behind them if you could only find them?
She’s my baby, she’s my baby,
yeah, it’s alright.

 

She’s got hair down to her fanny.
She’s kinda jet set, try undo her panties.
Everytime she’s dancin’ she knows what to do.
Everybody wants to see if she can use it.
She’s so fine, she’s all mine,
girl, you got it right.

 

Legs, ZZ Top

Let the Mayhem Begin!

Ok there Metal Maniacs, tonight is the big night!

Post-Game Wrap-Up:

We had a great game last week against Spin the Bottle, who once was a perrienial powerhouse. They were down three players, but instead of taking the easy way out, we let them have not one, not two, not three, but four free agent players from Angry Jays Army. Even with them (or perhaps because of them), we were able to hold on to a 6-3 victory. It was tied 3-3 in the fourth when Eric (I believe) hit a big time home run into center field. For the game winning runs, he gets the game ball. Jed also accounted for our other three runs with a blast to right field.

Action Item 1:

Who’s gonna be at tonight’s 7:15 game vs Bunt Funk (formerly Grabbasky and the K-funk Allstars, formerly Schoolhouse Rockers, formerly After School Specials).

Emily, don’t forget to have the equipment down there by 6:30. Thanks for taking it.

In a swap with Bunt Funk, I’ll be providing jungle juice and they will be providing jell-o shots. Sweet.

Scouting Report:

You don’t get to be 6-0 without knowing what you’re doing. Try to not focus on the copious amounts of spandex and Aqua Net and get the job down.

Action Item 2: Reffing

Jed and I can’t ref, so we need someone to step in and ref. Volunteer?

Action Item 3: Name

What’s your fake 80s metal name?

Misc.

You know the scavenger hunt is June 28 and you have to register by June 25. You’re all big boys and girls, so organize yourselves into teams. And it’s open to non-kickballers, so invite your friends.

If you have any 80s hair music, bring it!

Remember that tradition states that we are going to Heaven & Hell to let the wheels come off around 11pm. Hells yea!

Ok gang, I think the MetaL Gods are looking up at us guiding our tortured souls. Let’s do it for them.

Ps- Hi Damien

Metal Mania V

That’s right, this week the Metal Mania begins.

I wanted to give you a little context to metal Mania. Five years ago, our team decided to do a costume night, and we voted on an 80s hair band theme. And thusly, metal Mania was born. We had so much fun that we decided to continue it the next year…and the next…and the next…and now it’s simply a tradition. Coincidentally (actually, not so coincidentally), metal Mania I was against the precursor to the team we play this week—Bunt Funk—who was then called the Schoolhouse Rockers (and then Grabasky and the K-Funk Allstars). To add a level of excitement, I’m friends with many Bunt Funkers, so we’re planning something special for this game. Jed also has a connection at Heaven & Hell in Admo, so we’ll head up there by 11pm for 80s night were we will own that bar. The cougs were all over there last year…

I can’t wait to see all the crazy costumes and band names that you all created. In the past we’ve had cod pieces, spiked leather dog collars, and mullet wigs. I suggest that you hit up the closest Goodwill or Salvation Army and stock up on the worst blouses and acid wash jeans you can find. Personally, I’ll be sporting leather pants, so I hope that it’s not 90 degrees with 90% humidity. Even if it is, my ass simply looks too good in them to not wear them.

In addition to your feather boas and Aerosmith-inspired unitards, each of you should come up with your fictitious band name. Use these classics as inspiration: Dokken, Guar, Danger Kitty (a fake one), Faster Pussycat, Warrant, Ratt, LA Guns, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Whitesnake, Moterhead, Stryper, Poison, Mötley Crüe, Fat Guy Trio (my first band), King Cobra, Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot, Slaughter, Clay Aiken, Spinal Tap, and Skid Row. If you can’t come up with your own name, try combining parts of 2 of the above bands. For example, Quiet Tap or Twisted Poison.

Need some inspiration? Use the websites below:

www.bighairmetal.com

Which 80s Hair Band Are You?

http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=hairband

VH1

www.vh1.com/music/radio/ stations/hair_band/station.jhtml

Hair Metal Confidential

www.globalpopconspiracy.com/confidential/hairmetal/

Wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glam_Metal

Metal Sludge, premier Glam Metal site & community

www.metalsludge.tv

Sleaze Roxx, band bios

www.sleazeroxx.com

Glam Metal, news & interviews

http://glam-metal.com/

Everybody Wants to Rule the World (of Kickball, that is)

Post-Game Wrap-Up:

We had a strong showing last week, defeating We Got the Runs 6-0.  Our D totally shut them down.  I give credit to the fact that Steve wouldn’t let me pitch.  The game ball went to Ryan, who’s home run counted for 3 (or was it 2?) of our runs.

Action Item 1:

Yes, no, or maybe so…are you coming to the 7:15 game vs Spin the Bottle?  The weather should be in the 80s, so it won’t be a blistering hot day.

I likely will be running very late and may miss the game.  Stupid work.  I’ll see you at the bar if I’m not at the field.  Jed and Becky will be running the show if I’m not there.

Scouting Report:

Spin is one of the elder teams of the division.  They used to be the “bad boy” team of the division that everyone loved to hate.  They’ve also been in a few championship games, so they know how to win.  That said, there has been a lot of turn over the past few years, and, after quite a few beers, they’ve mellowed out a lot.  They’ve always been cool to me, so I like ‘em.  And by “cool to me” I mean they give me beer when I ref.

Their men are staunch anti-munters.  That said, their women (at least some of them) will bunt.  Therefore, we need to play a catcher that knows how to field bunts and can make the throw to 1st.  I haven’t seen them play this year yet, but if they still have some of their bigger guys, they can kick the ball a mile, so the outfield needs to play deeper than usual until we get a feel for their kicking style.

As someone said to me after game #1 this year, “Spin is a shell of their former selves.”  This is another winable game.

Squatting & Reffing

I can’t ref the early game this week.  Jed said that he would try to, but if you want to get down there early to keep him company and have a few pre-game brewskies, I’m sure that he would appreciate it.

Action Item 2: Theme

To get you thinking about your Metal Mania costume (reminder:  Metal Mania* is NEXT WEEK), this week’s theme is 80s hair bands.  What’s your band name?

In addition to your 80s name, remember to put your real name on your name tag so that we get to know one another.

* For info on last Metal Mania III, do a search of blog archives.  I frickin’ love Metal Mania!

Action Item 3:  Libations

You know the deal.  Who’s bringing cups and drinks?

Scavenger Hunt:

The Hunt is set for June 28.  Teams of 4-6.  Ridiculously silly, fun, drunk time.  If you miss this and you’re not out of the country or in a wheelchair, you are off the team.  No arguments.  More info is at http://www.dcsmashed.org/scavenger/Welcome.html

Quiz of the Day:

Think you know the 80s?  Take one of the many quizzes here:  http://www.80smusiclyrics.com/archives.shtml

Welcome to your life
Theres no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behaviour
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world

– Everybody wants to rule the world, Tears for Fears

The Omen

Post-Game Wrap-Up:

 

Before I get into my big epiphany, here’s a short synopsis of last week’s game:  when I arrived in the 3rd inning we were up 2-1.  Then I took over pitching duties for Steve, and they immediately scored 4 runs.  So I relenquished my duties.  I believe the final score was 6-3.  Even though Jed scored 2 of our runs, the gall ball this week goes to PJ, because he was clearly the drunkest member of the Footloose squad at the bar.  And that’s not an easy accomplishment. 

 

The Omen:

 

It must be a sign.  Tuesday night Aaron and I had our weekly date at the Target on 50.  Target is one of those stores where the more you walk around the more things you see that you “need.”  Case in point, I went to get a new pair of shades and left with $70 worth of stuff.  Well, as we were about to get in the checkout line, we noticed the cheap DVD rack.  For $5 I picked up the Karate Kid (Special Edition, mind you) and Aaron picked up Big Trouble in Little China.  Score.  Then we went to Harris Teeter and for $10 there was the David Bowie classic Labyrinth, The Right Stuff, The Goonies (my favorite movie), and Flashdance. 

 

 

 

So this gave me an idea—we should have an 80s movie night.  It’s our imperative that we watch our namesake movie, Footloose, which Pete was kind enough to give me a few years back, and maybe another 80s classic. 

 

But what does this mean?  It’s an omen.  It’s a sign that we are destined to kick some ass tonight.  You don’t just see David Bowie in Harris Teeter for nothing.  Bowie wants us—no, demands us—to kick ass tonight. 

 

Action Item 1:

 

First, a reminder to please respond to all action items.  Gracias! 

 

Will you be at tonight’s 6:30 game vs We Got the Runs?  We’re scheduled for Field 3, which likely will be the field in the back on the lower part of the hill (close to the Viet Nam memorial). 

 

Scouting Report:

 

We Got the Runs (clever name) is a new team this year.  I reffed their game last week and was impressed.  I think that they will be one of the top teams this year.  They have solid kicking and solid fielding.  We have a few games under our belt now, so we’ve worked out some kinks and the newbies now have a feel for the game.  This has the potential to be a really good game. 

 

Captain’s Tip of the Day:

 

•          As Mr. Miyagi would say, “Wax on, wax off.”  Wait, no, not that one.  He would say, “Daniel Son, kick the damn ball on the ground.” 

•          During the game I reffed last week, there was a tight throw to 1^st base.  The gal was thrown out because she ran to first base.  If you run through first base you can keep a full head of steam.  Just remember to turn right into foul territory.  Also remember that you cannot overrun 2^nd or 3^rd bases. 

•          At times it looks like our outfielders, particularly right field, are playing a little too shallow (i.e., close to the infield).  I think it’s a better to play a little deep and run in on the ball than to run backwards.

•          Runner automatically get one base on an overthrow.  Nothing kills a team faster than overthrows. 

•          To help prevent overthrows, the right and left fielders should back up 1^st and 3^rd bases, respectively. 

•          Confession time:  I broke a cardinal kickball rule last week.  When I was pitching a runner ran home from 3^rd base.  Instead of throwing the ball to Meg, who was covering home, I pegged the guy.  Sure, I got the out, but the ball rebounded 10 yards away and they scored a run.  It would have been better to throw the ball to Meg.  It’s always better to throw the ball to a person than to throw at a runner.  The ball is too hard to control and you can’t control where the ball goes after you hit the runner.  Learn from my mistake. 

 

Action Item 2:  Libations

 

Who’s bringing cups and booze tonight?

 

Action Item 3:  Name Tags

 

Because I was really late last week, I forgot to do name tags.  But I won’t forget again this week.  This week’s theme is 80s toys.  This can be as generic (e.g, G.I. Joe) or specific (e.g., Cobra Commander) as you want. 

 

Schwag

 

Yesterday I spent $50 on ringer socks.  So I’ll have those at the field tonight.  I expect that we’ll all wear them with pride.  I also will have the purple bag with wrist bands, hair ties, and whatever else is in there. 

 

I also will bring the rest of the shirts.  I have a name list with sizes.  Please make sure you take the correct size and then check your name off the list. 

 

I also will be hitting you up for your $5 schwag donation so that I can get some new stuff. 

 

Metal Mania!

 

Metal Mania will either be June 19 or 26^th, so start getting your costume together.  Ask a vet if you have any questions.  The more over-the-top (another classic 80s movie that Target had) the better.  Fake snakeskin?  Awesome.  Feather bowa?  Nice touch.  Fish net stalkings?  Go for it. 

 

Scavenger Hunt

 

The hunt is set for June 28.  Info should be posted later this week at www.dcsmashed.org/smashed/Events/Events.html. 

 

The hunt is a basically a bar crawl with silly costumes, silly tasks, lots and lots of drinking, and a boatload of fun.  Just look at the pics on the SMASHED website to get an idea.  The registration deadline will be June 23, so start thinking about getting teams of 4-6 people together. 

 

 

I am a man who would fight for your honor
I’ll be the hero you’re dreaming of
We’ll live forever knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I’m always strong when you’re beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

 

– Glory of Love, Peter Cetara (Love Theme from Karate Kid II)