Sign of Good Things to Come
Posted by Ren McCormack on July 9, 2009
Tonight we return from what I’m sure was a long Independence Day weekend full of alcohol, fireworks, and hangovers. Well, at least mine was.
I have a good feeling about tonight’s game. Why? Because as I was shaving this morning “Separate Ways” from Journey came on the radio. If what wasn’t a sign, then I don’t know what is. On a completely separate and unrelated note, I do not advising trying to sing Steve Perry while holding sharp objects. *ouch
Action Item 1: You Playin’ or What?
The scouting report on tonight’s foe, Angry Jays Army, looks like this: the Army is a verteran team who joined the 2nd year of the division and went to the championship game that year. They are a constant contender for the Silver Spur (championship trophy), so you know they are one of the better teams. So bascially, we need to bring our A game. So shake of the weekend hangover and get ready for a great game. We play at 7:15, but plan to arrive around 7pm if possible.
Captain’s Tip of the Day:
- If you pop up, you owe the team 10 pushups or one shotgunned beer. Your choice.
- Their pitcher, Joe, has a wicked cuve to his pitches. Think bowling style. As always, you do not need to kick the first or even 2nd pitch– wait for one that you like. I personally get amped and want to kick the first pitch and need to tell myself to relax. If you have boobs, he may give you one or two fast pitches, but he’ll slow it down if you’re about to strike or foul out. If you have kibbles & bits, don’t expect the same curteousy.
- Keep in mind that it’s easier to get an out by throwing it to the teammate covering the base, not at the runner.
- If you play 2nd base (ladies), this means that you stand equidistant from 1st and 2nd base. We’re not very good at this.
- If you play shallow center, then you are the person who takes throws to 2nd base. You do not need to stand on the base–standing a few steps back should allow you enough time to get the base and to cover kicks to shallow center field.
- Outfielders, remember to use your cut offs.
Action Item 2: Libations
Who’s bringing the liquid fun tonight? That’s another reason to arrive early–to put a few down.
Action Item 3: Theme
Tonight’s theme will be 80s products. OOOOHHHH…a tough one you say. Well, there is this really fancy invention called Google that you can use. And I would counter that this is an easy theme, because it can be just about anything.
Friday Night: Legwarmers at the State Theater. I sent an e-mail about this.
July 16: METAL MANIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 20-August 10: Screen on the Green Note that the full list of movies has been released!
August 22: End-of-Season party. Save the date now.
Metal Mania Update:
AS you should know, next week is Metal Mania VI. After Halloween and Happy Yuengling, this is my favorite time–dare I say holiday–of the year. And no, I’m not joking. I don’t joke about things this serious.
You know the basics: come up with your own costume (the more over the top, krimped, spiked, spandexed, and outragious the better), band name (must be an original, not an actual band), and overall persona. If you don’t want to ride Metro in full 80s regalia, there is a rest room behind the “hill top” field that you can change in. AFTER the games, stay in costume, cuz we’re gonna tear the town up like your name is Tommy Lee and it’s 1983 on the Sunset Strip. We’re not sure if we’ll stay at McFaddens or use that as a launching point to another bar with an 80s nigt (we used to go to Heaven & Hell in AdMo, who has since discontinued it).
I can’t wait to see all the crazy costumes and band names that you all created. I’ve heard rumors or cod pieces, spiked leather dog collars, and mullet wigs. Personally, I’m thinking of sporting leather pants, so I hope that it’s not 90 degrees with 90% humidity. Even if it is, my ass simply looks too good in them to not wear them.
In addition to your feather boas and Aerosmith-inspired unitards, each of you should come up with your fictitious band name. Use these classics as inspiration: Dokken, Guar, Danger Kitty (a fake one), Faster Pussycat, Warrant, Ratt, LA Guns, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Whitesnake, Moterhead, Stryper, Poison, Motley Crue, Fat Guy Trio, King Cobra, Twisted Sister, Quiet Riot, Slaughter, Clay Aiken, Spinal Tap, and Skid Row. If you can’t come up with your own name, try combining parts of 2 of the above bands. For example, Quiet Tap or Twisted Poison.
Need some inspiration? Use the websites:
Which 80s Hair Band Are You? http://selectsmart.com/FREE/select.php?client=hairband
Hair Metal Confidential: www.globalpopconspiracy.com/confidential/hairmetal/
Metal Sludge, premier Glam Metal site & community: www.metalsludge.tv
Sleaze Roxx, band bios: www.sleazeroxx.com
Glam Metal, news & interviews: http://glam-metal.com/